"Connecting"

As I sit down to nurse Kaleb, I can also enjoy some time “connecting” with my friends and family through blogs and FB. I’ve loved being able to tell my birth story, post pictures, and share my thoughts and feelings and to get responses from so many of you all within the first few days of having a baby. It’s nice feeling like I’m still involved with everything/everyone around me even though I haven’t really even set foot outside my house. . .let alone showered or fixed my hair/put on make-up, etc. It makes me wonder what it was like for my mother. I know a hundred or so years ago people lived with their extended families or very close by, so they weren’t excluded from the outside world when they were sick or had babies. But, what about just 30 to 40 years ago? It was after most people didn’t live with/near extended family, but before the internet and affordable long-distance phone calls. It’s hard to imagine how lonely or disconnected they must have felt after having babies and being home alone, or with a bunch of other little ones running around the house too. I know a lot of mothers, even now, who feel like they are the only ones who can’t keep up with the laundry, who don’t go out and do something fun/productive every day, who are tired from having interrupted sleep all night long, who dread dinner time, who feel overwhelmed with their kids who throw tantrums or teenagers who have wacky hormones, who think their kids have too much homework that really the parents have to do, etc. I just think that FB and blogs have changed that for a lot of us women/mothers. We can see that everyone else is dealing with the same things on a daily basis and that we aren’t alone in anything that we’re going through. Anyway, the internet is definitely a blessing to me and I’m so grateful for the “connections” I’ve been able to have through this medium.

MY story. . .that did NOT go as planned!

Disclaimer: I LOVE to hear others' birth stories, and I always look forward to the day my kids are born to see how everything goes down. . .so if this is a little long or a little TMI, sorry, I'll be sharing all the details I love to hear from others. :)

Can I just say "NO EPIDURAL"?!!!!!!!!!!! OK, let me back up a bit. . .I woke up at 1:15am to, what else, pee, of course. So, after I finished I started walking back to bed and noticed I was still peeing! It took me a second, but when I realized my water had broken I started shaking with fear. I ran out to the kitchen to call Dave from downstairs where he was still up watching fights, and then ran back to the bedroom to put some clothes on. I wasn't sure what to do about the water leaking, but quickly I realized that I didn't have time to care that I was dripping all over, I just pulled on some pants--which were quickly soaked, a shirt, grabbed my backpack, and started running out the door yelling to Dave that we had to HURRY. I was SO SCARED that we weren't going to make it to the hospital (which is about 15 minutes away) before I had the baby. He asked what we were going to do about the kids, and I told him we'd just have to leave the front door unlocked and call Rachel (my sister) on the way. By now it was past 1:20. We only ran one red light (which was BARELY red, by the way) and I had to remind Dave that he could go 70mph on the highway as the speed limit was 60! :) About now we looked down and noticed the gas light was on! Holy Cow, how is it even possible that we didn't make sure the car was always FULL of gas?! Then, as Dave worried whether we had enough gas to make it there or not, he told me that he had gone grocery shopping after I went to bed and had just gotten home around midnight. What if he had been at Wal-Mart when my water broke?! Well, I was pleasantly surprised that my contractions hadn't started right away! At about 1:35 I had my first contraction, which was pretty hard. The next two came quickly and I told Dave to pull up to the ER as I didn't know where the Women's Center entrance was and I didn't want to deliver in the parking lot as we looked for it. Dave kept telling me to calm down, we were going to be ok, etc, but I didn't feel ok! We pulled up to the ER as I was having my 4th contraction. As I jumped out to get into the wheel chair I realized I didn't have any shoes. . .not that I cared, but I noticed. They wheeled me to my room as I cried for them to "hurry, it's going to come fast, and I have to get an epidural first, oh no, it's hurting, hurry!!!!" I must've seemed quite hysterical. . .but, I guess I kind of was. The nurses helped me undress and lay on the bed as the contractions continued back to back. I told her I was dilated to a 6 two weeks earlier and I knew the baby would be coming fast. She checked me and seemed to relax as she told me I was still "just a 6". She said "oh, I thought we had an emergency on our hands!" I was like, “we DO, now get me an epidural!” She continued to tell me that she had to get the IV in first and then she could call the anesthesiologist. OK, so hurry! She tried a few times in my right arm as she told me how thick my skin is and how I must be dehydrated because it wasn't easy finding my vein. . .blah, blah, blah. . ."JUST HURRY would ya?!" She moved to the other arm to try there. "Oh no, I'm feeling the pressure, help, I need an epidural"! She stuck it in and checked me, it's 1:50 by now! "It's OK honey, you're to an 8, the anesthesiologist is coming." He came in quickly and started asking some questions and preparing the stuff. Suddenly I felt that HORRIBLE pressure like my guts were coming out! "Help, it hurts!" "I don't want to push!!!" "I need an epidural!!" Then the nurse just looked at me and said, "he's coming out, he'll be here in just a second, just give me one push." "WHAT??? NO! I'M NOT PUSHING!!!" Number one, there's already WAY too much pressure for me to want to add to it, and number two. . .I WANT AN EPIDURAL FIRST, this HURTS!!!!! It BURNED and hurt soooooooooooo bad! I was so mad! But, what could I or they do? He was already here! It was 2:02am. My doctor didn't arrive until about 2:30. They left the placenta for her to deliver, so I continued having contractions until she came and about killed me pushing and pulling and pushing on my belly some more, then she starts numbing--"Really? Would the stitching hurt THIS bad? Maybe you should skip the "numbing" shots and just stitch me up!" Why would ANYONE choose this over the comfort of an epidural? Oh, wait a minute, where's my baby? Did he even let out a cry? Did Dave even cut the umbilical cord? See? All that pain basically made me not notice anything that was going on with the baby. I suddenly remembered my other babies and how I blissfully and painlessly watched them be born, watched Dave cut the cord, and without any pain, reached out to hold and snuggle my baby for the first time. But, by the time I could quit focusing on the pain, my little boy had already cried, had the cord cut, been cleaned, weighed, and been wrapped up! Obviously, I still LOVED holding and kissing him and could not believe how precious he was. . .I just couldn't believe I missed all that! Well, here I am smiling so I guess I lived through it!

A little side note: he was born with a KNOT in the umbilical cord. Many of the nurses had never seen one and came to check it out. One nurse, who had been around longer, told us a few times how lucky we were! Almost every time she had seen a knot, the baby had been still-born! She said usually when there's a knot, it tightens when the baby drops into the birth canal, and by the time they're born they've been without oxygen for too long. Also, sometimes there's not enough elastin in the umbilical cord and it collapses on itself, when that happens the babies die sometime before labor. Apparently we are very lucky to have our little Kaleb!

Well, there you have it. Everything happened in just 45 minutes, beginning to end! We made it to the hospital. I did it all without and epidural. I'll never do that again. Next time (yes, we hope there will be ONE more time) I'll just ask for the epidural in the 8th month of pregnancy and I'll not turn my doctor down when she offers to put me into labor before I go on my own. We ALL survived. Dave was calm and steady the whole time telling me I'd be ok and everything would be over soon (and he was right). I think somehow Kaleb saw that I predicted in my last post that he'd be born at 2:00 and was just a bit confused about the whole am/pm thing, so he was probably just trying to make my prediction come true. . .he just came exactly 12 hours early! :) I recovered quickly. By the first night I was dressed, sitting in a chair, and chatting with my visitors when the new nurse came in and asked "um, is the patient in here?" I'm still feeling great, minus being tired. Kaleb had a high bilirubin count so we had to come home with the Bilibed and he HATED laying in it, so he wailed ALL NIGHT LONG last night, and I had to take him to get his blood checked again this morning. So, we're all tired, but I had to record this before too much time passed and I forget how determined I am to NOT go through non-medicated birth again. I do have to say though, I've never been one who has to learn things through personal experience, I'm more than happy to learn from others' mistakes or experiences, BUT, that being said, now that I've gone through this, it's kind of nice to know first hand what I've chosen, and what I'm choosing, NOT to do again! :)

Kaleb Johnson

Kaleb was born on Friday, June 11, 2010 at 2:02 AM. He weighed 7 lbs. 7 oz. and was 20.5 in. long.

The kids were so excited to see him and the toys we bought them the day before were the perfect entertainment for the time they spent in the hospital.

Kari, Mark, and Alexia drove from Orem to watch the kids during the night and to get them ready and bring them to the hospital to see us in the morning. Although Kaleb was born before they even got to our house, we were grateful they were willing to do that for us. :)

We are so in love with this little guy!

 The kids love him too. . .and want to hold him every second!

Here he is dressed and ready to go home! He was happy about it until I took his binky out so I could see his face. :)

We're home, and the kids still love to hold him.

His bilirubin count was high, so he spent the first night home on the bilibed. He did not like it at all. Luckily his numbers went down and we don't have to do it for another day.

Here are a few people who came to see Kaleb:

We came home to a decorated house and dinner delivered by my great friend Ang!

Last night together as a family of 5!

Dave and I wanted to do something fun with the kids on our last night together as the-family-as-we've-known-it-for-the-past-5-years". We discussed bowling, fun parks, movies, dinner out, etc., but we decided to take them shopping where they could each spend the $10 on something they could play with while mom is busy over the next few weeks. They thought that was a great idea. We started with a little family meeting about what having a baby will change in our family: ex. mom being tired and needing more help and the kids doing more for themselves, etc. Then we went on our little outing to Wal-Mart. Kyra and Darci picked Polly Pocket princesses and Littlest Petshops while Mark picked out yet another Transformer. :) These will definitely keep them happy and busy for hours on end. . .which was our intention. We had a fun time looking through all the toys and letting the kids change their minds a million times before deciding on their final purchases. We are all ready for whatever tomorrow brings. If the past is any indication, I'll go in at noon, get an epidural by 1:00, Dr. will show up around 1:30 to break my water, and baby boy will be born around 2:00. We'll see how close to that it all happens. :)

OK, NOW I'M READY!

Read on at your own risk, this post is mainly for me so I can remember the week before my baby was born! :)

Over the past two weeks my kids had been getting fevers on and off. After Mark started coughing pretty bad and his fever came back the third time, I decided to take him to the doctor to make sure nothing was horribly wrong, as I am due to have the baby any day! The doctor said he had "walking" pneumonia! It's very contagious and must be treated. I headed straight to the pharmacy and got him on an antibiotic. The next morning Darci got a fever again. . .no other symptoms, but since she's been around Mark. . .I take her to the doctor that morning. She's diagnosed with the same. This time they give her a dose of steroid and prescribe the antibiotic. So, off to the pharmacy again for her meds. That day Elizabeth, her cousin (who she'd been hanging out with) got a fever and I knew that Kyra had had a fever the week before, so Rachel and I took both of them into the doctor that afternoon to be checked. Elizabeth had pneumonia. Kyra's wasn't for sure, but since she had been sick and she had a bad ear infection that they had to treat with an antibiotic anyway, they prescribed the same antibiotic for them both. So, off to the pharmacy AGAIN! Sheesh, I wanted everyone healthy as fast as possible as I could have my baby anytime! The next day, Friday, I woke up feeling great--which has been the norm. I knew I had a dr. apt. that afternoon and thought there was a small chance she'd check me and tell me I had to have the baby right then! :) Since I wanted the yard work to be done for at least the first week of having the baby, I mowed the front and back, weed whipped and edged the front, and did a little weeding. When I saw my doctor she said I was dilated to 5 or 6 cm and effaced about 85%. She offered to strip my membranes and put me into labor right there, then send me home and she'd wait to hear from the hospital. I chose not to do it because the kids were still on their antibiotics for 3 more days and could possibly be contagious for another day or two. I definitely wanted everyone to be healthy when the baby was born if I had any say in the matter! I had contractions pretty regularly throughout the day and evening, I'm sure it was due to being checked and to the yard work I had done, so I didn't think much of it. Well, I went out with some friends that night and had a great time. But, after I got home I started feeling really yucky. My stomach hurt and I couldn't sleep at all! I tossed and turned ALL night. I wondered if I felt so bad because I was in labor?! Saturday morning I couldn't seem to get out of bed, I was SO tired, and I felt nauseus. It was hard to tell the difference between my stomach ache and the contractions. I continued to feel horrible all day and to have regular contractions. I started to worry that I was going to have the baby while I was feeling so terrible. I knew that if I went to the hospital they wouldn't send me home because I'm already dilated so far. . .but I really didn't want to go in when I was feeling so bad. So, I slept and laid around all day. I wasn't able to eat or drink much. Finally around 8:00 pm I threw-up. Sorry, I know that's possibly TMI, but I felt SO much better after! My stomach still hurt and I was really tired, but I was able to sleep through the night! I woke up Sunday morning feeling pretty good. A little tired, but hungry. I ate a little throughout the morning and was able to keep everything down. As the day went on, my contractions slowed down and I felt better and better. I assume now that I was having so many contractions because I was dehydrated and had a fever. Anyway, by yesterday evening I was feeling wonderful again. I know it was Sunday, but I couldn't stop myself from cleaning EVERYTHING! It felt so good to be feeling good again. :) I went to bed a bit early and slept pretty well, therefore I woke up early this morning and I feel GREAT! It's beautiful outside, my kids are finally done with their antibiotics and feeling great, the house is clean, it's going to be hot enough to go to the pool, AND I'm ready to have the baby any time he feels like coming! Whew.

Who is he?

So, we've pulled out each of my kids' first year scrapbooks and have been going through them each night together. It's been really fun reviewing their early years. As we look at the pictures and read what I journaled about them, we've asked ourselves, what is this baby going to be like? Will he have as much hair as Mark had? Will he cry for a full year straight like Kyra did? Will he eat wonderfully (meaning it didn't hurt mom at all) like Darci did? Will he look more like Mark and Darci (who, believe it or not, look very much alike, and who look like Dave's family), or will he have more of the Kyra look (which is from my family--she looks very similar to a few of my nieces)? Will I adjust easily as my kids are older and can take care of themselves in so many ways? Or will it be harder having a baby so much younger than my other kids? Do I really have any idea what I'm in for? Will having a baby in the home feel so natural like the three times before? Will he totally change the dynamic of our family (like Kyra did)? Or will he blend right in with the family we have?  Will he be born without a hitch like my other three, or is he going to throw me for a loop and like, make me push or something?! (Sorry, I know some of you want to kill me right now, but I can be real, right? This is my blog, afterall!) I know he's head down and I'm practically dilated to a 10 and 100% effaced already, but what if he's posterior? Or what if the cord is tight around something and makes it difficult for him to come out?

Well, I suppose it won't be long before all of my questions are answered. Maybe I'll even find time to let you all know.